I was dreading the first day of school last week, because I know that my youngest is not ready to go to school yet. She is not as matured as her older sister. Although she was happy that she got her Dora backpack and all her school clothes, I know deep in my heart that she was not ready to be away from Mommy. Or, maybe I was just thinking that because I am not ready for her to be away from me. First day of school came and all the kids were excited to get ready for school. I asked my husband to see them get on the bus on their first day and he did. We waited for the bus together at the bottom of our driveway. We finally seen the bus, and all three of them get on and I was waiting for her to cry and tell me that she didn’t want to go.
She sat on the very first seat with Roan and she waved us goodbye with an exciting look on her face and when I turned my back and we were walking back to the house, I can’t help but cry. I was so emotional and I was choking. I can’t even talk. I didn’t want my husband to see me crying. It’s so hard to accept the fact that my baby is now ready to face the world without me. She had her lunch bag with her because I know that she is too picky and she probably won’t eat whatever they have at school. I was so hesitant to go for my walk because what if the school calls and tells me that she’s crying and needing Momma.
I went ahead and started my day, still waiting for a phone call. Nothing…All day had passed and still nothing. So, I was thinking, she’s probably doing good at school. Came 3:20pm and the bus came. All three of them came out of the bus and I can see how excited she was. She was waving goodbye to her bus mates and on their way up to our front porch, she was chatting with her siblings. I, then realized that, she was so ready to go to school and I wasn’t.
Tuesday, she was not supposed to go to school, and when she woke up, I told her, she was to stay home. She was crying and whining and insisting that she wanted to get ready and go to school. My baby has grown and I can’t stop it. Until now that it’s been over a week, I am still waiting for a phone call from the school, but I believe, it’s not ever going to happen. She is more matured that I thought she is. Now, I am home with my mom, missing the kids and there are days that I can’t help wonder, what about when they all grow up to be an adult, then….that makes me so sad….
I used to wish that they grow up fast so I can be by myself, so I can do whatever I want, so I can be at peace..so I can watch TV without yelling at either one of them, so I can take a nap as often as I want, so I can go somewhere without any kids with me, so I can do FB without any of them asking me that they want drink or food. Now that I have that moment…now, I wish that I have at least one of them here with me, so I can yell and tell her not to bother me. It’s so quiet, I want noise, I want to hear the word “Mommy, I need some drink, I am hungry, I have a boo boo” and yada yada yada. But, I know, that moment is not coming back. Let’s face it, they have grown!
Have a great week everyone!